An apology - I'm not very good at writing so, if you are hoping for a serious epic like the Viking sagas, the Iliad or War and Peace, you will be disappointed.  This is more the meanderings of a cranky old man with a silly sense of humour.

 

Stan the Man was standing at the prow of his steam powered flying boat, the Flying Pig (named because it was awkward to manoeuvre), when he got the shock of his life.  A raven flew to his side and in a very aggressive voice told him to shift his butt and fly to the aid of the Wizardess Rebecca.  She called herself a wizardess because witches got such bad publicity.  He quickly finished his breakfast of fried tripe and pickled onions and fired up the engine.

 

Now you may think that a steam powered flying machine would be too heavy to get off the ground but this was made out of anti gravity metal called iron featherlite.  Taking off and with the raven telling him the route he headed for the unknown lands of the planet.  The planet was R’Chi Dra Minor (anagram of my name Richard – well it is my story), which is on the outer reaches of some galaxy or other.

 

The scenery was magnificent with rugged snow capped mountains, narrow valleys and hidden lakes and Stan made frequent stops partly to enjoy the scenery and partly to irritate the raven, who was trying to hurry him along.  He had to thread his way very carefully through some very dangerous valleys, not the easiest thing for the Flying Pig.  Fortunately there wasn’t much wind at the time.

 

While he is making his journey let me tell you a bit about Wizardess Rebecca; Rebecca Simone Verushka Perkins to be correct or RSVP to her friends.  She is a young and unconventional wizard who has done a lot of work protecting the dragons of the planet.  Making sure they are well cared for and trained properly by their owners.  Her motto is “a dragon is for life or will take yours if you’re not careful” is very true.  Stan and the wizardess had met before but the less said about that the better: Stan still walked with a bit of a limp.

 

Wild dragons live in this area and, although the Flying Pig does have a gun, Stan preferred to keep well away from them.  At one point a wild dragon does make an attack but the noise of his flying boat frightens it off or perhaps it was because it looks so strange.  It was only a young one; an adult could have been a dangerous problem.

 

Eventually, several days later, he was close to the Wizardess’s cabin, which the raven pointed out to him and then left him with the parting words, “This is a #### way to fly.”  As he approached the cove of the Wizardess he noticed another dragon on the hill.  This one was with a young man so was obviously tame and both just watched him pass.  The man then got on the dragon’s back and flew to the Wizardess’s cabin.

 

Stan landed and greeted Rebecca very respectfully.  She introduced the young man he had seen on the hill as her guard and protector called Glad.  A warning glance from Rebecca told him not to ask any questions about the name, but later she explained that the man was the son of a very short sighted young woman who had given him the name Gladys.  The child had a rough time from the other children and determined to prove himself had built himself up to his present impressive size.

 

Rebecca explained that she needed the use of his flying boat because her dragons refused to enter the valley she wanted to visit.  She had found an ancient Spell Book that as well as some very interesting spells, told of the disappearance of a remarkable dragon during the Wizard wars many years earlier.  Now you have to be very careful with Spell Books particularly if you do not know who wrote them.  They may contain good spells like Equanimity or very bad spells like Prokrastinashun.

 

She carefully gave the direction information to her seeking staff and by reading the tea-leaves as they travelled they would be warned of any problems on their route – low flying vampires or rampaging Panda cats for example.  Most Wizards used the Staff and Tea-leaf guidance system (sometimes call SaT-Nav) and with Rebecca standing at the prow holding the seeking staff they set off.  Glad stood just behind the wizardess and it was obvious to Stan that the young man cared a great deal about her.

 

After a couple of days, Rebecca informed them that they were close to their destination.  The only problem which the tea-leaves had warned them about, was a herd of ferocious Zebra lions (lions striped white and black not black and white like our Zebras) and they had made a detour to avoid them.  There was a sense of evil in the air which even Stan could feel and explained why the domestic dragons would not travel here.  Glad was even more watchful than usual as they rounded each turn in the narrow valleys.  Eventually they rounded a bend only to find the valley was a dead end.  A huge cliff faced them.

 

Rebecca started to chant strange words and they saw letters of an ancient language begin to appear on the rock face.  At the same time, Glad pointed to the right and let out a cry: Stan pointed to the left and echoed the shout, “Dragon”.  Two dragons had appeared over the cliff and were diving straight for them.  Typical of men faced with a serious problem they do not know how to solve; Glad and Stan began arguing with each other.

“I saw it first.  Turn around.”

“Mine’s bigger than yours. There’s nowhere to hide.”

“It will clash with my eye shadow.”  Oh, well, perhaps not that one.

 

Stan started to bring the boat down.  Hoping the narrow valley bottom would be too tight for the dragons’ wings.  Rebecca shouted at the two men to stop acting like children and began to chant another spell.  There was a bright flash and a couple of small explosions and the two dragons disappeared.

 

Stan landed the Flying Pig on the lake; everyone gave a sigh of relief.

“Well, I never thought you would ever destroy a dragon, Wizardess,” he said.  Rebecca turned to face him and clinging to the front of her jacket were two tiny dragons.

 

“Lucky dragons,” said Glad wistfully, which made Stan chuckle.  Getting embarrassed and reddening, Glad added, “They’re a handsome pair.”  Stan roared with laughter while Rebecca stared in horror at both the men.  Now, totally flustered, Glad closed his eyes and bowed his head.  “I meant the dragons.................the dragons.  Please don’t turn me into a Toad,” he whispered.

“She can do much worse than that,” Stan told him.  “However, let’s not do anything we will regret.  What do those shapes on the cliff mean?”

“It’s the old language of the wizards.  It just says – Entry,” Rebecca told him. “It’s a portal, but I do not know where it leads.  Another part of this world; another world; a different time, I have no idea.  Nor do I know whether my magic will work wherever it goes.”

 

They took off and slowly approached the strange marks on the cliff.  The two tiny dragons had now separated; one perched on Rebecca’s shoulder the other flew to Glad’s shoulder.  As Stan brought the steam powered flying boat level with the entry, Rebecca started chanting in the wizards’ language.  The marks began to fade as a portal appeared and in the distance they could see bright sunshine on a tropical sea which was dotted with sandy islands.  None of them could think of anywhere in this planet that looked like that.  They moved towards the portal.

 

The saga continues.............